Identity Crisis

Long ago, when I got married, I quit my career, left my family of origin, moved across country, and took on my role as a pastor's wife. Shortly after that, I learned I was going to be a mom. I was a mess. (My poor husband had to deal with nightly emotional breakdowns.) Talk about an identity crisis.

I settled into the mom thing pretty quickly. Sure, it was new and confusing at times, but it quickly became who I was. Without a job to balance out the equation, I started looking for other things to do. That's when I picked up writing.

For the longest time, I couldn't call myself writer, much less an author. I was just doing it to keep myself grounded and sane. But once I had a couple novels under my belt, I realized I needed to face facts and call myself a writer. An author.

I'm now in the same boat with singing. My background is in theatre. I always thought I was the backstage type, but I'm coming to realize I've spent more years onstage than off. I did a few performance pieces for friends in college while I was getting my degree in stage management. Several years ago, I was quite active with a small town community performance troupe. And more recently, I've auditioned for and was cast in several productions in our city. Funny how life works out, isn't it?

What's brought this about is a battle with a never-ending cold. As I've been rehearsing for my latest show (which is going to be AH-mazing!!), I've been having to clear my throat a lot. In a performance just the other day, I forced myself to sing through it, but I didn't feel it was my strongest work. And I've started to grow concerned. It's never really occurred to me that I need to take care of my voice. I sang for years without paying the slightest bit of attention. In the face of this struggle, however, I've come to the conclusion that, yes, I AM a singer, and yes, I need to take care of the talent God's given me. I'm now taking action to better care for my voice.

What are you reluctant to accept about yourself? What's holding you back?