Ashley Hodges Bazer - Author
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The "Supposed-To"s

1/8/2014

1 Comment

 
I don't know about you, but I'm really good about heaping extra guilt onto my shoulders. That guilt comes from a number of sources, but I think the main source is the "Supposed To"s.

Oh, there's a long list of "Supposed To"s I encounter every day:

  • You're supposed to have quiet time with God every day.
  • You're supposed to do this or that in order to be a good Christian,
  • You're supposed to show up to work every day. (Okay, this is a good one.)
  • You're supposed to write 1000 words each day. Or at least one page. (My writer pals know all about this one!)
  • You're supposed to be the best mom in the world, no matter the circumstances. (This carries its own list of "Supposed To"s: You're supposed to be calm. You're supposed to be a parenting expert. You're supposed to fill the need of every child at the very second such need is revealed...)
  • You're supposed to be a loving wife. (Again, another full list.)
  • You're supposed to be beautiful. (And a size 0 because beauty only exists in stick form, apparently!)
  • You're supposed to save money.
  • You're supposed to be wealthy. (Because money makes the world go 'round!)
  • You're supposed to be successful.
  • You're supposed to excel in all you do.
  • You're supposed to have it all down and know everything.
I'm sure you can think of a few more. These expectations we place on ourselves are out of hand!

As I started thinking about all my "supposed-to"s, I realized these were all demands the world makes on me. Mankind. I asked myself, "What is really important? If I couldn't fulfill all those demands (albeit self-imposed), what is the one thing that I should be doing all the time? What does God tell us we're supposed to do?"

And it all came down to one commandment delivered by Jesus in Matthew 22:37. "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."

If we do that, don't you think all the important "supposed-to"s will fall into place?

When that thought came to mind, gone was the guilt of my failed "supposed-to"s. There's only one thing my God wants from me. He wants me to love him in every way possible. He doesn't want me to feel badly about messing up here on earth. He wants me to trust in His goodness and mercy. He wants me to follow Him. And (how cool is this?!)...He wants my love! My puny, confused, sloppy, blind love.

Yours, too, for that matter.

So let go of those "supposed-to"s--or at least the ones you can without shirking responsibility. And focus on loving God in all the awesome ways He allows us to. I'm certainly going to try. I imagine we'll find a much lighter load when we hand off those "supposed-to"s to much bigger and far more capable Hands.

1 Comment
James R. Brandon
1/9/2014 06:35:54 am

I agree with you. All our "Supposed-To's" eventually turn in to our own form of legalism. I believe Jesus said that the only "supposed-to's" that we are supposed to do is Love the Lord god with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength. And to love our neighbors as ourselves.And you knew that too. :)

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  • Home
  • Star Sailors
    • The Commodore >
      • Characters
    • The Princess >
      • Characters
    • The Skyjacker >
      • Characters
    • The Stowaway >
      • Characters
    • The Operative >
      • Characters
  • The Crown's Call
    • Heralds of the Crown >
      • Poison >
        • Characters
        • Deleted Scenes
      • Fusion >
        • Characters
        • Deleted Scene
      • Reconciled >
        • Characters
    • Rise of the Crown
    • Touch of the Crown >
      • Outlaw >
        • Characters
    • Champions of the Crown >
      • Asylum >
        • Characters
    • Fun Stuff >
      • The Timeline
      • The System
      • The Inhabitants >
        • Logia/Lumen/Ghosts
        • Strages/Crepusculum/Legacy
  • Time Spinners
    • In the Beginning >
      • Characters
  • Other Novels
    • Tinsel Pines Tales
    • Checkmate >
      • Characters
    • Once Upon a Heist >
      • Characters
      • Map of Paladia
      • Venefica's Curse
  • Bio
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • Promo
    • Mamma Mia
  • Buy
  • Blog